Windows Vista Eve

Shoplifting

I was forwarded this article over at Slate that talked about meat being the #1 shoplifted item at grocery stores. The link was sent from a friend who thought I would be shocked at this statistic, but little did he know that I worked for a grocery store.

In the 6 years that I worked for Safeway, I can vividly recall our store security apprehending a dozen or so people shoplifting meat—anything from a filet mignon down to packages of sliced deli meat. While most tried to sneak meat out of the store with the goods packed into their clothing (it brings a new meaning to having a sausage in your pants), some people tried placing the packages of meat in empty Safeway bags that they had packed in their pockets and tried, albeit unsuccessfully, walking out the front door, giving off the appearance of having gone through the checkout line and having their items bagged. The worst attempt I saw at stealing meat was packing a grocery cart full of meat (and beer) and making a dash right out the front door. Nice try.

Other items that I remember being lifted on a regular basis:

• Cosmetics: Like you wouldn't believe—these are usually higher priced than say food or beverages so when they go missing or unaccounted for, they usually show up on inventories in big bold red letters. People who were caught with these items were usually middle-school and high-school females with the occasional homemaker attempting to sneak out a tube of mascara.
• Baby Formula: This is also another higher priced item, usually running $40 for a 48 oz. can for Infamil. I would say that almost all of the people who stole Infamil were single mothers. Occasionally I would see a baby's daddy getting caught, but I can only recall a couple instances. The one depressing moment I won't forget is the sight of a single mother being escorted by a security guard to the back office while her child is being cared for by a Safeway bagger.
• Alcohol: This item was lifted by all age segments, even old retired ladies, but mostly by teenagers who aren't legal to buy and who couldn't find someone in the parking lot. The funniest attempt I saw was during the summer of 2004, 3 teenagers run into the store directly to a 4^th of July display conveniently located near the entrance to the store, each takes two Bud Light cubes—one for each hand, each one turns and run towards the door, as they are approaching the door one yells out, "drop the cash." One of the teens comes to a halt as the other two escape to the parking lot, the teen inside puts the cube of beer down, reaches deep into his pockets, drops a wad of twenty dollar bills, picks up the cube of the beer, and makes a dash out the door.
  
  Had they paid for the beer, they would have been about $10 short, but the gesture of leaving money behind was uncommon and very funny. As luck would have it, a shopper in the store recognized one of the teens and reported him.
• Sudafed: Before stores kept Sudafed behind counters, they stocked this on the shelf right next to the other cold medicine. When the meth epidemic was in its hey-day, this was probably the most lifted item, more so than meat. Sudafed was always shoplifted by junkies and never by anyone who was sick.

Superman

So Close...

Upon leaving Endfest '00, Dain and I run across Coby, the lead singer from the band Papa Roach. He was on his way out too so we hurriedly huddled together--well everyone but me--and before I could wedge myself in between Dain and Coby, I heard "cheese" and when I looked up I saw the flash from the piece of shit Safeway-brand 35mm disposable I had packed with me.


I didn't know this picture was taken until after it appeared in the local newspaper. In the above picture I'm trying to be sociable around Tom from MxPx, my girlfriend, and one of my co-workers. Had I known a picture was going to be taken, I would have tried to position myself behind someone ;)


When we lined up to take this photo, I thought to myself, "you know better--get your ass in front," but after sizing up the other meet and greeters I had noticed that the majority of the fans around me were teenie-boppers and were well-below my 6'0" height. What I didn't factor in was Mike's fro. Damn, that's a lot of hair!

On Rooftops

Incubus 2007

Christy and I went to go see Incubus on Saturday evening at the Paramount Theater. Late last year I had won some meet and greet passes and we got to meet Incubus before their performance. It’s not everyday that I get to meet rock stars, especially rock stars that I have followed for the last seven years and who have inspired me in all ways imaginable. Needless to say, I was really nervous about meeting the band. Before the meet and greet I had prepared a list of questions/comments for each band member in my head, however by the time I had reached the meet and greet table the list had disappeared by the sheer presence of the band.

The first band member we met was Chris. I couldn’t help but notice that his dreadlocks are really really long in person. We introduced ourselves, and he began working on signing our card. While he was signing he made a comment about getting in to Seattle late. I asked if they (the band) had gotten a chance to explore the city at all. Chris told us that they had checked out the Bodies exhibit that was just across the street. Christy and I get a little excited—we have something in common with him! We went on to explain that we, too, had checked out the Bodies exhibit a few weeks earlier. The three of us begin talking about how cool and interesting it was. Then we mentioned to him that just last week someone had stolen one of the hands-on kidneys from the exhibit. We start joking about the type of person who would steal a non-functional plastic kidney and before we can finish our jokes, we being nudged to move on.

Next was Jose. Introductions and then he began singing our card. He was quiet and came off less-sociable compared to Chris. We weren’t talking—we both felt a little lame. He took his time signing our card. I think Christy commented on how cool his signature was and he played it off as if it was nothing. I make a comment about being excited for tonight’s show and want to explain that I dig his art but before I can he is handing me my card giving me the non-verbal head nod to move down the table.

Next is Mike. Before we get to meet him the girl in front of us is still trying to talk to him about her MySpace profile. She eventually gets nudged forward and Christy and I introduce ourselves to Mike. He’s saying something about MySpace profiles. I’m trying to put words and thoughts together. I try cracking a joke with him as he’s signing my card. I tell him he looks taller in person (WTF!?! Did I really just say something that stupid). He gives me a stern look for what seems like a good 20 seconds and starts chuckling. I tell him he is one of my guitar hero’s, Mike’s handing me my card and thanking me for the comments and for supporting the band and charity.

Next is Ben. Before I get to meet him Christy is already talking with him about MySpace. I found out later that Christy had mentioned to Ben that she didn’t think that rock stars read their MySpace messages. Ben replied with, “I do…I read the first line and if it’s really creepy I hit delete.”

I introduce myself to Ben. As he begins signing my card I mention that I’m on the Ghettocrush board and that my username is dv8. He looks up to me and is shocked and replies with a “NO SHIT!?!” He thanks me for coming out and then he remembers that I post links on the board. He starts recalling a link I had posted a few weeks earlier and half-way describing it he remembers that I’m the same guy who ran the Incubus fan site. He tells me that he used to check it out, that he liked the layout, how clean it was, and that it was updated. I mention that I had to give up the website when college started taking over my life and before I can explain any further, it’s time to move on. I thank Ben and mention that I’ll see him on the boards.

The last band member I meet is Brandon. While he is signing my card I’m drawing a blank on what to say. I tell him that I’m excited for the show and before I can tell him that I saw them play at the Paramount six years earlier, the girl behind me had rushed me off the table.

The show was amazing. One of the best Incubus concerts I have seen. As always, the band was tight. The band performed a perfect mix of new and old songs--new spins on old songs and songs they don’t usually play. I sang along to all the songs. Halfway through the show Christy makes a comment about having surround sound with me singing in her ear. I stop singing but mouth the words. Before I know it I've started singing again.

It seems like every time I have the opportunity to have my photo taken with rock stars, my head gets cut out some how.

Some videos I took from Saturday night:

Incubus - Nowhere Fast (clip)

Incubus - New Skin (Acoustic) (clip)

Inside Joke (mature)

I think it's time we take a look to the future.

The future Jessie?

Yes, that's right, a look all the way into the year 2007.

"in the yeeeeaaarrrr two thoussssaaannndddd seeevveeen, in the year two thoooussssaanndd seeevvvveeenn"

Nick will find a job that pays well and will save his money to buy an Xbox 360, only to find out that everyone has moved on to the Nintendo Wii for its circle jerk game. Despite not having the Wii, Nick will still continue to circle jerk.

Teletech/Nextel and Sprint will cut thousands of jobs in an effort to maximize production and minimize overhead, Dain will undoubtedly lose his job in this cut. He will redeem himself when he finds a typo in his severance package that entitles him to a lifetime supply of Pizza Hut pizza and Pepsi products.

After months of haggling and price reductions, Jessie will finally sell the Ford Probe, only to pick up a great deal on a car named the Hyundai Analè.

After just a few weeks of savings, Jon will finally replace his beat up truck with a Ford Probe he suckered from Jessie. He will total the car a week later.

After much discussion, Tommy will give his final performance of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" citing that he is giving up the song as his friends like him for his other qualities. He will learn that he has no other qualities and that his decision has cost him all his friends.

Matty will finally clean-up the bottom of his e-mails only to discover that we had been passing secret messages about him through his e-mail signatures. Matty will cry when he is reminded that he is Canadian and not very good at Rainbow Six.

"in the yeeeeaaarrrr two thoussssaaannndddd seeevveeen, in the year two thoooussssaanndd seeevvvveeenn"