Top 10 Albums of 2006

According to my last.fm profile, the 10 most listened to artists of 2006 were:

10. Ben Kenney
09. Dream Theater
08. John Mayer
07. Sublime
06. Ray LaMontagne
05. Elbow
04. Death Cab For Cutie
03. Red Hot Chili Peppers
02. Dredg
01. Incubus

In comparison, here are my Top 5 Albums of 2006:

05. Ben Kenney - Maduro
04. Ray LaMontagne - Until the Sun Turns Black
03. Incubus - Light Grenades
02. John Mayer - Continuum
01. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium

Honorable Mentions of Albums released in 2006: (in no particular order)

• Jurassic 5 - Feedback
• Brand New - The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me
  
• Zero 7 - The Garden
• Thom Yorke - The Eraser
  
• The Roots - Game Theory
  
• Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
• The Deftones - Saturday Night Wrist
• Dashboard Confessional - Summer and Dusk
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
  

Here are some of my biggest letdowns of 2006:

• Tool - 10,000 Days
• Muse - Black Holes and Revelations
• The Mars Volta - Amputechture
• Thursday - A City By The Light Divided
• Sparta - Threes
• Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
• Matisyahu - Youth
• Pearl Jam - Pearl Jam

These lists probably don't make a whole lot of sense. I've tried interpreting the lists, but what I believe it comes down to is that I'm listening to artists that continually put out great music and avoiding those artists that have been hit-or-miss in the past.

Hibernation

If we were bears we would be hibernating right now...sleeping, and not working.

Quoting the Mayor

To quote the Mayor of Bremerton on the Harborside Condominiums, “The Empire State Building was built in 1 year and 45 days. How long has your project been in construction?”

The answer is approximately 352 days. Based on my own personal projections, the project will probably be completed in the neighborhood of 450 days, I hope.

Light Grenades

Incubus - Light Grenades
In stores now, go buy.

The Car That Parks Itself

The all-new 2006 Lexus LS has been getting a lot of attention lately. I'm sure most people have seen the TV commercial or the printed ad, but most have probably heard of this car by word of mouth. While the bland styling of this particular Lexus will confuse most consumers with the latest offerings from every other automobile manufacturer, this model Lexus features automated parallel parking technology. It's a feature that is currently exclusive to Lexus. It's also a feature that is unnecessary and reconfirms my belief that people should learn how to drive (and PARK) before getting their licenses.

With the MSRP starting at $61,000 for a standard LS , I highly doubt the upper level executive who is driving this car is going to 1) need to pay for a parking spot 2) opt for the $5.00 parallel parking spot over the security and comfort of the $20.00 stall in the parking garage. That is unless the driver is an extremely pompous ass who wants to show off the parallel parking feature of his car.

Maybe the reason I'm so bitter is because it makes parallel parking accessible to more people. Parallel parking is an art in itself--the less number of turns of the steering wheel and the less number of bumper checks separating the Van Gough's from Warhol's. It's a technical skill that is reminiscant of tuning a TV station in with rabbit ears or making a phone call with a rotary phone. Parallel parking used to be about the driver becoming one with the car and one with the road and its surroundings. Unfortunately parallel parking, like everything else in the world, has become a push-button experience.

Atlanta

Taken on the corner of Peachtree and Lenox Blvd

Last week I was sent to Atlanta, GA for a professional training course (work related). While previous training trips have afforded me the opportunity to explore the inner-workings of cities, my explorations of Atlanta were cut short by training sessions lasting nearly 11 hours each day and by homework assignments that required a couple hours of my evening to complete. At the end of the day, I was lucky enough to get to check my e-mail. Until I get to visit Atlanta again, I will remember Atlanta as just a 3-star Sheraton hotel located 5 hours away from home.

On the last day of training I had a few hours to kill before my flight back to Seattle. I’m usually the person who likes to wander around and discover cities on my own, avoiding the “touristy” things that cities offer, but with only a few hours to spare and with no direction, I became a tourist.

The first stop I made when I arrived in downtown Atlanta, besides the tourist information booth, was CNN Center (no cameras allowed on the tour). While on the tour I got to see some of the technologies behind the show including the tele-prompter and the chroma key (green screen). I even got to see some of the Headline News personalities including Robin Meade (Robin & Co.) and Erica Hill. I was really hoping to see Chuck Roberts as he was the face of Headline News as I was growing up. Probably the most surprising thing I learned at the CNN Center was how small the studios and workspaces are. Although it might not seem like it on TV, these shows are literally filmed out of shoeboxes. And yes the people you see in the background during the news are really working.

CNN Center from Olympic Centennial Park

Inside CNN Center

Just a few blocks away from CNN headquarters was the World of Coca-Cola Museum. While it wasn’t as exciting as CNN, I did learn more about Coca-Cola than any one person should ever know. Did you know that worldwide Coca-Cola produces over 400 soft drink varieties? Here in the U.S. only 40 or so make it to the market. While on the tour, we were offered samples of domestic Coke products and the most popular of their foreign brands. Here’s a tip, if you ever find yourself overseas with the opportunity to try the Coca-Cola beverage called Beverly, pass on it. While they wouldn't tell me the recipe for Beverly, I could have swore I tasted mouth wash, tonic water, and a splash of sour milk.

The World of Coca-Cola Museum

Domestic Coke Fountains

Puerto Vallarta 2006

I finally got around to posting the pictures of my recent trip to Puerto Vallarta. They are available in two places:

-the narrated version
-the non-narrated/full-size version

Enjoy!

Talmud

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved." - the Talmud

The Final Countdown

Crank this up:



Then go here:

Countdown to Mexico

Enjoy!

Wheel

The Idea

After a hectic day of playing catch-up from just a week off from work, I had an opportunity this evening to finally take a breather and read that internet giant, Google, intends to completely conquer the internet, and eventually the world, by buying YouTube for $1.65 billion dollars. With Google being the #1 internet search engine and with YouTube being the #1 internet video media site, it's just a matter of time before their secret plans to infiltrate our minds and completely control us blossoms.

When I see big numbers that I can't fathom, I like to break out the HP 10b and try to wrap my head around what $1.65 billion dollars is. In my world, $1.65 billion is 55 $30-million dollar post-tension concrete condo projects, or 66,000 Audi A4's, or 1,650,000 Gibson SG's, or 1.65 billion Diet Coke's. In my life there will never be a need for that much money--I will never rock so hard to destroy 1.65 million guitars, there aren't enough elderly ladies crossings or children's school crossings to run down and crash behind the wheel of 60,000 Audi's, I would rather serve a 3-year prison term at a minimal security prison than to develop another condo, nor are there enough days in my lifetime to drink a Diet Coke every hour on the hour for the rest of my life.

What completely frustrates me about Google is their gameplan. It's so very simple and it is only now that I'm realizing that it could have been me or anyone with half of a brain cell left and a dial-up internet connection.

So I started thinking, what is the stupidest idea in my mind right now. It took about 45 minutes to sift through all of them, but then it all came to me. It is so stupid that 5 years from now people will read this blog entry and wonder, like I wonder about Google or YouTube, why didn't they think of this. I am so certain it will yield me more than $1.65 billion dollars. It will revolutionize the way we communicate, it will challenge the way our current economic systems work, hell, it could bring upon World Peace. I challenge you to come up with a stupider idea with the following:

I'm going to patent this and then repatent this and then repatent it again and then leave it to my children to patent and their children to patent because my girlfriend reminds me of patents and their 20 year terms whenever I see her.

I will you warn you now, in 5-years don't let your children or your grandparents cross a street unattended, I will have 66,000 Audi's to run them down with.

St. Louis

Maybe it was the unusual October weather—record high temperatures in the mid-90’s and the humidity nearing 100%, or maybe it was the fact that the Cardinals are in the play-offs, or maybe everyone is passed out drunk lying in a ditch or behind a dumpster because it’s the hometown of Budweiser beer, or maybe it’s the harsh reality that no one lives, works, or wanders around downtown St. Louis.

To St. Louis’ credit, I did catch some anti-war, anti-Bush protestors across the street from the Old Courthouse.

While I was in St. Louis I got an opportunity to view two very important works of architecture, the world recognized Gateway Arch by Eero Saarinen and the first modern-day skyscraper, the Wainwright Building by Louis Sullivan. Unfortunately I was unable to ride the tram to the top of the arch—maybe next time.

More pictures…

Snakes on the Plane

I was thinking that the plane ride down to St. Louis would have been much more interesting if there were in fact Snakes on a Plane.

Summer Reading

I'm a little disappointed that I only read two books this summer. My summer reading record, probably disappointing to some, was 11 books which included a few of Daniel Quinn's books, a re-read of all of Alex Garland's books, and 5 or 6 Star Wars novels (read "nerd"). Usually the summer serves as the perfect time to read all the material that doesn't pertain to work or school--as I'm usually away from one or the other, both mentally and physically--and the summer weather makes for an excellent outdoor reading environment. My schedule this summer was hectic and most of my reading was left to either late at night when I suffered from bouts of insomnia or while traveling to and from Seattle.

"The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien

I spent the first half of my summer reading this book. It was recommended to me back in college from my old roommate who was an English major first and a History minor second. He recommended the book not because of the great story telling but based upon the war stories of the soldiers of the Vietnam War. I enjoyed this book even though I’ve probably read over everything that makes this a repeated best-selling book. What I enjoyed most were how well the stories were told—I’ve never been a soldier and I’ve never been to war, but while reading this book I somehow felt as if I was sitting up in the trees or somewhere in the back of the pack witnessing first-hand the emotions of horror and mayhem the soldiers were going through. It was through O’Brien’s surrealistic tone and recollections from memory that made this book chilling and exciting.

"The Devil in the White City" by Eric Larson

I'm deeply fascinated by architecture, especially the history of architecture in the United States. This book was recommended to me in college as supplemental reading material when we discussed the White City and the formation of urban planning. The book was also recommended by girlfriend who knows about my fascination with architecture. Anyhow, this book is chalk-full of architectural history mostly pertaining to Chicago, the 1893 World's Fair, and the White City. From what I have been told, the architectural accounts of the book are all researched facts. At over 400 pages long, the amount of study and detail put into this book is incredible.

Did I mention the serial mass-murderer in the book? In this great account of U.S. architectural history, the author inter-weaves a serial mass-murderer into the storyline. As gruesome as the murderer was, I tended to gloss over his murderous ways in favor of the history. Yes, I’m a nerd.

Fallingwater

I've always wanted to visit Fallingwater. I'm a fan of Frank Lloyd Wright and Fallingwater is probably the most recognized Wright home. It's also one of my favorite examples of a home built into its environment. Unfortunately, this animation is probably as close as I will come.

At the Show

MxPx in Bremerton Tonight

Be there or be square.

Continuum

I have a love/hate relationship with John Mayer. Actually, I can't say that I love the guy, but I do like what he does. I like his guitar playing--he is a very talented and technical guitar player--probably one of the best of the singer/songwriters out there right now. I hate the lyrics to roughly 80% of his songs--save 3-4 songs per CD (prior to "Continuum"). I like his voice--it's very smooth and soulful, he knows his vocal range and doesn't overestimate his ability. I hate the face he makes when he sings--I don't know if he needs his meds or if he just shit himself. I like that he "knows" music and talented musicians. I hate that he's arrogant about it.

With all that said, I'm really enjoying his new album "Continuum." Mayer has come along way from the days of "running through the halls of my high-school." This album is a more mature Mayer exhibiting the higheset level of his guitar playing ability, song writing finesse, and ear for producing. There is substance to this CD that was lacking on his previous studio albums. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but it's there. Of all the Mayer albums, he gets this one right--the CD speaks for itself and I highly recommend it.

Douchebag Until Further Notice

I shouldn't even be posting the video as it's title puts off the very city I am working in and trying to make a better place, but maybe if enough viewers e-mail the creator or reply to the video and help him realize that he is upset with a person and not the City that he might change the title of his video.

Your e-mail to him might go like the one I sent him earlier,

Hi.

There is a lot taking in place in Bremerton to help "right" the "wrong" impressions people might have about the city. If you don't believe it's taking place, I invite you downtown to where the change is starting to take place.

Bremerton has historically had an issue with slumlords and your issues with the Iguana's is no exception. A lot of the agencies who are tied to the cities revitalization are working to oust these slumlords in attempts to make the city more attractive for people to live in.

I ask that you reconsider the title of your video. Maybe if it were re-titled, "Joe Iguana is a douchebag" or "Joe Iguana is a rapist" it would degrade the Iguana's rather than the city.

Thanks for your time.

One Year Ago

On Sunday, my girlfriend and I reached a milestone in our relationship--we celebrated our one-year anniversary. Although it might not seem like such an accomplishment, it really is. Especially when you consider that my girlfriend and I are complete opposites--she, unorganized, messy, highly intelligent, and attractive and me, organized, clean, smart (ass), and odd-looking. For all my lacking qualities, she has, and visa-versa. The saying is true, "opposites attract."

For our first real date one year ago, that was outside of work, I asked my girlfriend to the Bumbershoot Music Festival with the promise that a bunch of my friends were going to attend and that it would be a lot of fun. Fast-forward to the day of the show and only one of my friends decides to show (I begged him to come with me the night before). Fast-forward to when we get to the show and somehow my only friend disappears into the Beer Garden an hour into the show only to return home 3 hours later without explanation of how he got home, with his departure I thought for sure I would be in "awkward silence hell."

Fortunately, we connected. We talked the entire time, we found we had similar interests (including music) and similar goals and dreams. It was unreal.

To celebrate our one-year anniversary, we went back to Bumbershoot. This year's show was just as special as the previous year. None of our friends came and like last year, we talked the entire time. This time around I was welcome to hold her hand, give her hugs, let her use me as a giant pillow, and kiss her when I wanted.

The last year has been without a doubt the best year of my life and I owe it all to my girlfriend. We have done a lot in the last year and we have great memories to carry with us. I don't know what's in store for the next year, but I am definitely looking forward to it.

The Roots on Letterman

Tight, Tight, Tight!

Personality Test

My Personality

Neuroticism	64
Extraversion	52
Openness To Experience	75
Agreeableness	33
Conscientiousness	93

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report MySpace Stuff, MySpace Codes and Personality Test by Pulseware Survey Software

iPod

Late last week I finally broke down and bought an iPod video. It's the 30GB model, black, used--came loaded with the finest R&B hits from the last 20 years and few episodes of Family Guy, and doesn't feature Bono singing.

I might be the last person on the internet to buy a mp3 player and if it weren't for the excellent price I got on the iPod, I probably would have never bought one. Now that I do have an mp3 player and have spent some quality time with it, I have to admit that it is quite handy. It comes in convenient in a lot of places I didn't think music would be, namely the toilet.

Car and Driver Review of '94 Ford Probe GT

Before my car was a piece of shit, it was a really good runner.

Wedding Season

Two weddings in two weeks.

On August 5th, I was on hand to see two of my good friends married, Erin and Olof.

There is something special about weddings that I can't place...they are better than any Holiday gathering of friends or family, better than any graduation ceremony, better than any award banquet, better than any random last-minute get together, etc. No matter if you are unfamiliar with the two who will be tying the knot or if you are the emcee hosting the reception or the catering company that has the responsibility of cleaning tables--everyone has a good time.

I've attended 3 weddings this year so far and have atleast 1 more to attend in November. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to it. I'm at that age where friends are maturing to that next level, they are getting serious by either getting married or having kids. In the next 10 years marriages and babies will probably become everyday occurances, but again, I look forward to it.

My parents are hermits. They won't admit to being hermits--they very rarely go out for dinner or any form of entertainment. They are entertained by their lawn, garden, and shop projects. The only reason they leave the house is to go to work. Really, that's it.

My parents at my cousin Charisse's wedding. See, they are having a good time. My dad is a freakishly good dancer. Maybe he practices his dance moves in the shop?

I brought my lovely girlfriend to both weddings. Here she is below showing my two aunts how to do the "elbow" or the "car wash."

Group photos are a given at a wedding. Bride and groom with groom's best friends, bride and groom with groom's family, bride and groom with male cousins, bride and groom with people age 50 and over, (you see where I'm going with this).

Endfest 15

Will Ferrell - Actor/Comedian

Chad Smith - Drummer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Seperated at birth??? The similiarities are uncanny.

This weekend my girlfriend and I were fortunate to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers, LIVE, at the White River Amphitheatre. The Chili Peppers were amazing! They performed beyond my expectations and seeing Flea, John Frusciante, Chad Smith, and Anthony in their element was a sight to behold. Saturday night's performance will go down as one of the best concerts I have ever seen.



Originally, we planned on not attending due to the lackluster line-up (see Wolfmother, The Subways, Rock Kills Kid, etc.), however our indeciveness and love for a band that has reached that magical age where rock musicians get too tired to tour--we decided that it would be in our best interest to catch them before they disappear.


I remember reading about how the Mars Volta walked off the stage during a concert because the audience wasn't listening to them perform. On Saturday, the Mars Volta opened for the Chili Peppers and I was looking forward to their performance. About 2 songs in, Cedric (the lead singer) began making fun of himself for the way he dances on stage but then also made fun of some of the kids that were in the pit slam-dancing/mosh-pitting. I believe he said something along the lines of, "my dancing might be out of date but not as bad as, well, it's 2006 and we still have these fucks who slam-dance!"

After the 3rd song, Cedric warned whoever was in the crowd throwing "shit" at them to go get lost. Fast-forward to the middle of the 4th song, Omar began banging his guitar into his guitar cabinets and the song halted. Cedric told the crowd that they were not going to play anymore and that the crowd find the kid throwing urine at them, bring the kid to the Mars Volta for a lynching, and that they would receive anything they wanted.

What the hell is the world coming to when people are throwing urine at bands at shows!?!

UNCHI DETTA

I'm the kid at the end.

More Sloppy

Last week we celebrated the topping out of our 6-story condo project. In part of the topping out tradition, the office staff served the construction workers lunch, Bar-B-Q in fact, and one of our staffers caught me in my finest form. My girlfriend suggested that I do this.

The View From Down Here

I took these pictures a few weeks ago. Local businesses were promoting a Monster Truck show by strategically placing monster trucks throughout the town to help promote the show.

A few days before the truck show, I was heading home on a bright and sunny afternoon when all of a sudden I thought I saw a CJ Jeep that had run on-top of another vehicle. I began to slow down and when I got closer I noticed that it was just a monster truck that was sitting next to a normal passenger car.

Being the car lover I am, I had to snap a shot of my car next to a monster.

Gameshow

My post the other day about "America's Funniest Videos" and men being hit in the genitils doesn't even compare to this. The 60 second AFV video montage of men being struck is painful and funny, but this video is downright corrupt and hilarious.

Go Kart Accident

I've been holding on to this video for a few years--I just recently got the motivation to transfer it to the computer. Anyhow, my dad built this go kart using scrap parts from around his shop and from some motorcycles that had been donated to him.

Like all of my dad's hand-built projects, the go kart is superbly-built. The motor on the kart is a Kawasaki 750 GZP, the frame made from scrap tube-chasis framing, the seat is from a Subaru Brat, the axels were custom made, and the brakes are from a Kawasaki bike. The kart screamed! Believe it or not, after the accident the only thing that needed to be replaced were the front steering linkages.

Since the ending gets cut-off and all you can hear is the noise of a wreck, the guy who was riding the go kart ended up hitting a curb which launched him and the go kart into a wire fence. When they ran to help him, the guy was found in severe pain laying on the other side of the fence in the grass and the go kart was wrapped in the fence. The guy riding was rushed to the hospital and ended up dislocating his shoulder, broke his knee and wrist, and had minor bumps and bruises all over. Luckily, he avoided head, neck, and back injury. He still laughs about the accident to this day.

After the accident my dad ended up putting a harness on it and requires anyone who dares to ride it to put on a helmet. The kart hasn't run in about a year--after showing this video to anyone who inquires about riding it, they change their mind.

RIP Sam

1998-2006

America's Funniest Videos

There is something refershing about sitting down on a Sunday evening and watching an hour of America's Funniest Home Videos. I can't quite place it--a series of video montages of men being struck in the genitils, babies doing cute baby things, dogs chasing their tails, cats doing backflips, and people inflicting injury upon themself--it never gets old and it I'm guaranteed to laugh my ass off, even if it's a repeat.




Last week I posted a video of dredg covering Lionel Richie's "Hello." This is my all-time favorite best dredg video.

Thom Yorke - Cymbal Rush

Hello dredg

Signs

I have to admit that I find the above picture stupendously hilarious. If I was 16 again, and had nothing better to do than play Golden Eye on Nintendo 64, I'd be cutting stencils to make "Hammer Time" logos that I could go spray on any "STOP" sign I could find--any sign for that matter. "SCHOOL CROSSING, HAMMER TIME."

This sign reminds me of an idea that I have had for years--put your favorite band, radio station, movie, subject, university, song name, or even your own name on a "ROCKS" sign so it reads like the picture below.
Mt. Hood and basalt rocks in the background--the sign is definitely overkill--but you get the idea.

Cycle Drift

Fans of cycling, drifting, and absurdity will enjoy this.

Jay-Z and Phish

Hybrid Reminder

Next time you drive your "green" hybrid, remember where the nickel for your battery came from

Doug Benson on Last Comic Standing

Unfortunately, the NBC producers of Last Comic Standing have their heads so far up their asses that they wouldn't recognize talent if they shit in their own faces. Speaking of faces, prostitutes have faces. Did you know that 90% of prostitutes can fit the heads of baseball bats in their...........This post edited by Blogger.

Fuelonomics Part II

I made a post back in March breaking down fuel costs for a fuel-efficient and a non-fuel-efficient car. The breakdown helped to steer me away from purchasing a car that was more fuel-efficient than my current car. (My new decision for purchasing a newer car will be for maintenance reasons.)

Earlier today I came across this interesting article that equates driving a Toyota Prius and using flourescent light bulbs. From the article,

We can estimate the annual greenhouse gas savings from a Prius vs a Toyota Matrix, FWD, automatic. The Prius gets an EPA-rated 55 mpg, vs 31 mpg for the Matrix. Assuming 12,000 miles annually, it will save 169 gallons of gasoline per year. Since each gallon produces 11.1 kg of CO2-equivalent GHG emissions, the Prius saves 1,875 kg of CO2-equivalent annually.

I would guess each bulb can save you about 85W (100W-15W), so 15 will save you 1275W. If the lights are on 2400 h/yr (6.6h/day), they will save 3,060 kWh. Using a national average of 1.35 pounds of CO2 per kWh, this will save 4131 lb or 1,875 kg of CO2. So it doesn't seem like an unreasonable statement that the two are comparable.

I am still not convinced that Hybrids are viable products. The production of a Hybrid vehicle requires the same, if not more, energy to produce and we all know (I hope we all know) that the production of any automobile is a very environmentally harmful process requiring already limited resources and energy.

I still contend that car pooling, mass transit, or riding a bicycle is better than purchasing a Hybrid, however for those of us who have to commute by automobile, a hybrid is one way to curb our dependence on foreign fuel and to curb our release of CO2 into the atmosphere.

Crock

Coming Soon to a Trailer Park Near You!

RIP Sony Pen Drive

Here are the remains of my Sony 512MB Pen Drive. It lasted me just over 2 years when it finally shit the bed on me last week.

The broken pieces are as of a result of the device being dropped, kicked, thrown, washed, stomped, eaten, and passed. The scotch tape you see is my attempt to make the device appear whole while trying to maintain Sony's sleek styling.

I remember back to last June and the moments prior to delivering the presentation of my thesis--dropping the Pen Drive and watching the plastic shell enclosure shatter below me on the tile floor. I remember my colleagues gasping and me beginning to sweat, cursing under my breath. Fortunately, the Pen Drive survived the crash and I was able to give my presentation putting my comrades in a deep deep coma.

I'm not sure how the Pen Drive died. I'd like to think it went piece-fully.

Aston Martin Flying at ALMS at Mid-Ohio Speedway

The text is very small, but they indicate that the car ended up flying farther than the Wright Brothers inagural flight in 1903.

RoboCop vs. Neo

I'm such a nerd for these mix-up trailers.

Bad Hair Day

Your hair can't be that bad...

Une Future American Idole

She's only a toddler and yet has more talent than Katharine McPhee.

10 Things I Hate About Commandments

I can't stop laughing.

What Happened After the Death Star Blew Up

What the hell is an aluminum falcon?

This Is Gonna Hurt

A couple of weeks ago I asked my girlfriend to start thinking about celebrities that given the opportunity, we could engage in a night of guilt-free passion. I told her it would be funny, and she said it would be fun. I should point out that it took me a week to create my list and it took my girlfriend just one night.

My list started with about 15 and has dwindled down to 10. My runners up include: Jordana Brewster, Heather Armstrong (dooce), and Alessandra Ambrosio.

#10 - Kelly Clarkson

The only reason I watched ALL of the first season of American Idol.

#9 - Anine Bing
All I know about her is that she is a Dutch supermodel and
years ago she would molest me in my dreams.

#8 - Elizabeth Hurley
She played the younger Kensington in "Austin Powers."
She also had guns hidden in her boobs. Yowza!

#7 - Kate Winslet
Something I won't admit in front of my friends,
I saw "Titanic" more than 5 times. Not because it was a
good love story or because of the re-enactment of the
Titanic sinking, but because I wanted to see Kate Winslet.
Right now I'm thinking of her in a girdle.

#6 - Mandy Moore
Before she was an actress, Mandy Moore was a pop-star that competed
with the ranks of Brittney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Jessica Simpson.
She is without a doubt the most classiest and talented of the bunch.
Mandy made me laugh so hard in "Saved!"

#5 - Elisha Cuthbert
She's probably remember most for her performances on
"24" or the "Girl Next Door" or "Old School," but I remember
her from "Popular Science for Kids."

#4 - Rachel Bilson
The only reason I watched the OC was because of her.
I would often watch the OC on mute--I can't stand her
character on the show.

# 3 - Scarlett Johannson
That suit she wore in "The Island" is still fresh in my memory. Yum.

#2 - Zooey Deschanel
The first time I saw Zoey was in "Almost Famous."
I think what won me over was the stewardess outfit
she wore in that film. The next time I saw her was in
"Elf" and she again won me over in her elf suit.
I have a thing for costumes.

#1 - Gisele
It's no secret, I have a thing for Brazilian long-legged women.
I remember back in college--being single and lonely--and dreams
of post-graduation flying to Rio de Janiero and finding me a long-legged
Brazilian beauty. Fortunately, I waited a month after graduation and met
the long-legged woman of my dreams right here in Bremerton.